November 24, 2017: AI Dinner

Dear Journal,

The past few months of my life have opened my eyes to endless possibility. I don't regret a moment of it, and despite the destruction it's brought to my life, I don't wish to erase any bit of it. All I can say is that I'm not completely happy with who I am right now, and my next steps require faith, courage, grace, love, expansion, and a little bit of magic. And if I'm as lucky as I say I am, then it'll need a whole lot of commitment I've yet to earn. 

 In this picture stand three people I must point out.   1. A man whom I have shared the last three years of my life with. He and I have have grown so much together and currently stand before the ultimate test of love.  2. A companion I feel a particular connection with, a type of depth, peace, innocence, fear, and balance.   3. What a beautiful heart, mind, and soul. And his gentleness. His energy. His story. His impact. 

In this picture stand three people I must point out. 

1. A man whom I have shared the last three years of my life with. He and I have have grown so much together and currently stand before the ultimate test of love.

2. A companion I feel a particular connection with, a type of depth, peace, innocence, fear, and balance. 

3. What a beautiful heart, mind, and soul. And his gentleness. His energy. His story. His impact. 

A piece of me I left with someone:
I miss waking up with the sun tickling my body. Haven't felt that in a while. I also haven't fallen asleep to music/podcast in a while. And gliding through the streets with unstoppable force and momentum. You know the times when it feels like you've grown more in a year than most do in five? That's kinda how the past five months have felt. What I realize is that this persistent battle that's been tormenting my days and nights, it's okay. The past has given me the strength to trust that I'll make the right decision. And while [the recent event has] done what it's done, it's also opened my heart to possibility. My next step is to stop searching within for blame, to stop blaming myself for the actions of another. How to truly do that. To accept myself [for everything I am], and the growth [it's] gifted me. 

In order to believe in my product, I need to know it actually works. So instead of saying, I want to help you with what you're missing, I should approach it saying...I want to help you make this work, and I want to be part of your team and see how we can make it happen together.