Posts tagged Creating Your Truth
A Kaleidoscopic Paradox

-A piece from one of my old diaries-


THE PARADOX

I’m what some might consider a paradox. This voracious ambition of mine seems to be matched only by a wild spirit. And while my mind constantly pushes for structure and progress, my heart reaches for freedom and adventure. I feel my soul begging to hold more and more as my spirit pleas to detach and release. So I live my life in short stories.

A friend once described my mind as a sponge—in a constant state of sensory overload, he said. I’m an empath by nature, and I feel everything: the speed of blood flowing through my veins, the tickle of leaves against its bark, the taste of agony or bliss within a tear. I perpetually feel the clash between this raging hunger to create and invent, and the unquenchable thirst to experience every last bit of life. Above all, I feel potential and I feel purpose.

My partner and I celebrated our two year anniversary yesterday, and in his card, he urged me to explore the world (knowing wholeheartedly that it could place distance between us). He described me as an earth shaker, telling me that I had purpose flowing out of my eyes balls. This man urged me to fly and soar, to never stop fighting for the magic I believe in—to travel the world and live as many lives as I could, write as many short stories as I could, and one day, inspire others and share my philosophy.

PURPOSE

Ever since my very first moment of consciousness, I’ve felt that I was meant to live an extraordinary life. There was this mighty force within me telling me that I was to do something grand in the years that I walked this earth and breathed this air. This sense of magic is at the very core of my being, holding together everything I encompass. But my whole life, I’ve struggled to balance this unwavering ambition with that wild spirit from within. When every bone in my body was ready to fight to its death, a little voice in my head urged me to release all desires and lose myself in the dancing patterns of the wind.

Within the seemingly paradoxical forces, I finally found a common link: purpose. This is precisely what my partner led me to realize yesterday. (If you’re reading this and ever wonder what’s keeping this free spirit of mine so close to you, I hope this will help to explain it. I’m not chasing after things because they’re different. I’m chasing after Beauty. Expansion. Magic. Creation. I want the raw and the true, and you bring me closer to that. The meaning I live for, I find within you).

And my purpose is to approach life like a kaleidoscope. My favorite kinds of people are the people who carry a spark of magic within them—you see it in their eyes, in the way they walk and smile, and you see it in the way they live their lives. Perhaps the first thing I can do is show someone that it’s okay to live our lives this way. It’s okay to open the curtains every morning and breathe in the sun. It’s okay kick ass and let our vibrant rays explode into the air around us. It’s okay to create our own paths in life to reflect the kaleidoscopes that we are. In fact, it’s magnificent!

WHAT IT MEANS TO LIVE IN SHORT STORIES

A little background is that I’m at a time in my life where everything around me is accelerating. Something incredible is about to happen, and I know it. Every day, I feel that much closer to my purpose. All this momentum. All this potential. I can hardly breathe on most days.

So what does it mean to live your life in short stories? Well, think of individual chapters in your life, only they’re each their own unique story. Different settings, different characters, different narrator, different author. Stop living your life by the chapter. Stop following a timeline of what you need to accomplish at a specific age. Jump around. Live the life of a 38-year-old businessman today, and then that of a 6-year-old prodigy in a few months. Defy the laws of time because why not? In the end of your 100 years (or 50 or 25), who’s going to care?

I’ve pursued my dreams and fantasies one at a time, lived different lives and become different versions of myself in the process. And I’m sure as hell not the only one. People like us, we go through life losing ourselves and finding ourselves again. We speak in metaphors because facts are subject to a limited life. We live our lives as verbs, not nouns. Sometimes we feel like we grow more in a month than most do in a year.

Think of your life. Are you living your life in chapters or short stories? Are you writing an epic poem or a research paper? And if you were to divide your life into separate chapters or stories, would you define them by traditional life milestones? Childhood, elementary school, college…etc. If you are, how long do you have to wait until the next chapter (because you wouldn’t be in control of time). Do you have titles that draw you in? Would you read your own story?

I don’t mean to glorify this kind of life, because it has its ups and downs. And more importantly, it’s really not for everyone. What I’m trying to say is that while we’re encouraged to explore and pursue our dreams, we’re also constantly reminded of the importance of stability. The life of an artist, we’re conditioned to believe, is unreliable. We’re portrayed in movies as the parents who leave their children to chase after an unattainable fantasy. We’re the ones who blindly follow the aesthetic life. That’s where the paradox in me lies.

HOW I DO IT

First off, the ups and downs—that’s who we are. We embrace the patterns and colors of the universe—the positive and the negative, the light and the dark. There’s nothing wrong with that. We’re ups and downs, like notes of an unfinished song. So long as we’re the ones writing it.  Don’t be afraid to embrace the good and the bad. Believe me, there are days where I just lie there and feel the weight of all the characters I’ve yet to step into, all the stories I’ve yet to write, and then there are days where a random stranger will share his/her story with me and reveal the secret to their life.  

[At my parents’ house and I hear my Mom laughing downstairs so I’m going to take a break and see what she’s up to.]

Secondly, freedom and stability are by no means mutually exclusive. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m very grounded in my values and principles. Let’s take a closer look at the song example I mentioned earlier. Every song carries a unique tune, but within that lies a separate universe in how you express it. By singing the same song, two singers tell different versions of the same tale, and that song instantly becomes two. In the same sense, the way you live your life defines the tune of the song; you write the notes just like you write your story. But how you sing it, how you decide to carry the tune is entirely up to you. For example, a woman may reveal her motherhood through her pitch; if that’s the case, she should be mindful of that pitch as she composes her song. But she must also recognize that the qualities of being a mother doesn’t necessarily live in one’s pitch. It could be in her timbre, or even the pauses she takes to catch her breath.  

There was a point in my life when I didn’t know how to balance my family with my ambitions and need for freedom. (And believe me, I’m still far from mastering it). But what I’ve slowly come to realize is that things like family and principles, you can always fit them into the new world you want to create. And sometimes it’s not about balancing them every day. Sometimes you take a step back and think of how to balance your life with them in it. The timeline you’re so used to living by—replace the time values with your own principle values. Be creative. You create your fantasies and dreams. You create your desires and motivations.

It’s like time management. It’s about managing and organizing your life, not about balancing everyday so they take up equal time. A recent study about travelling parents shows that what’s most important in a child’s life isn’t the amount of time they spend with their parents, but rather, the quality of the time they spend with their parents. So don’t hide behind your kids or whatever principle it might be—they’re not your shield. My family brings me a kind of bliss that I could never feel from chasing the world. It’s a different kind of beauty, and it adds a new dimension to my life. So organize your life like you manage your time. Take charge of your life and stop with the excuses.

To the beautiful souls and free spirits—you’re made with an incredible capacity to carry life. Never stop surprising yourself by how much bigger and more beautiful you are than you had imagined. Don’t feel the need to take the conventional path too often. Never stop surprising yourself. Never stop creating. Never stop wondering. Never stop living. And never stop exhaling magic.

Just remember that your substance, your spark, and your purpose are magical. No one’s version of the world will ever be good enough for you, so create your own. Just make sure it’s a good one. Don’t just create something, don’t just be someone different. Be someone beautiful. Be someone inspirational. Be someone who carries warmth and grace. Don’t just experience life, understand it, teach it, play with it. Don’t ask for less responsibilities, ask for more strength. And when someone throws negativity at you, learn to detach from the negativity and offer them a glimpse of your world. I hope you never stop believing in yourself and the universe, cause I won’t. That’s my promise to the world, and that’s my promise to my 3-year-old self.  

And I’ll say this again, I’m far from mastering it. This is just the beginning, remember?

Creating Your World Called Home

Who am I? What makes me, me? What is the unique energy, substance, spark, that is mine and mine alone?

We continue to ask these questions that can sometimes feel overwhelming, so instead, ask yourself to…

Picture this imaginary three foot bubble around you. Anyone within three feet from you is automatically absorbed into your world. What will they find in there? What do you want them to feel and experience while they’re in your world? And then when you figure that out, how can you make this three foot bubble into a three thousand foot bubble?

We’re born into a pre-written background story — our ethnicity, our socio-economic background, our family, our culture — but whether our story is made of words or pictures, whether we write a chapter book, an epic poem, or a collection of short stories….how many pages we write…

That is completely up to us. So use the colors in your story carefully, because your story is the world that you live in. That world isn’t created for you. You create it. With every thought and decision you make.

We don’t attract people to us, we attract people to what we stand for. And people don’t fall for us, either. They fall in love with the world that we live in and strive every day to create.

The sooner you recognize that, the sooner you can start creating your world confidently, apologetically. And the sooner you can allow more of yourself into your life.

Some people, when I ask them what they want to do in life, they say they want to inspire others. They want to build a legacy. And ask them about the legacy and they just don’t know. Not because they’re not powerful, capable beings, but because they simply don’t know themselves well enough yet. They don’t have a clear enough picture of what their world looks like.

Who do you want to inspire? What kind of people do you love and enjoy spending time with? How will you inspire? What is the unique gift and experience that the universe gave you that’s completely yours?

The world that you create for yourself is your confession of character. That is your truth. So stop asking what you can create for the world, and instead, ask yourself what kind of world do you want to live in and build everyday? And then day by day, invite the rest of the world in. That’s where your legacy begins.

And it doesn't mean the world will always like what they see. Within all of us lives a capacity for great success. But know that true success comes from true vulnerability, and sometimes at great costs and responsibilities. You see yourself for who you are and others will begin to see you for who you are. So evidently, some people are going to reject you. Let that fuel you to embrace who you are. Not out of contempt because then you’re not only rejecting them, but also yourself. No, do it out of love— for yourself and for the world that you live in.

We, as humans, fear what we do not understand. So understand that those who reject you are just not familiar with the energy you emit. They’re not familiar with your strength, your power. Don’t expect everyone to understand because they won’t. What you understand is your privileged. And so instead, seek to understand, and be the person who loves and accepts others.

Remember that those who love you love themselves the same way. Those who reject you reject themselves the same way, and those who expand you bathe in stardust everyday. (From My Low Budget High Spirit)

Surround yourself not with people who will tell you that your glass is half empty or full, but people who will pour into your glass until it overflows. We all want to find someone who will encourage us to drink and refill our glasses. And most of us want to be someone who will pour into others’ glasses.

But before we can do that, we have to figure out what it is that we want to pour in there. And once you figure that out, let it pour out of your soul. What you’ll find is that the universe expands at the rate at which your soul pours out.

Your world isn’t just in your head. It’s in the lives you expand, in the air you cleanse, and in the truth that you own.

What's Your Energetic Story?

True happiness, they say, is a deep harmonious inner satisfaction.

We are our own microcosmic Universes. We radiate our own unique energy signature. So choose your colors, choose your frequency, and please choose wisely!

This morning I jumped out of bed, threw my hands in the air, and screamed “I am my own rainbow of colors. My own kaleidoscope of magnetism. I am a weirdo! And I am absolutely ready to awesome all over the day!” I’m not kidding.

Our energetic story is composed of our thoughts and feelings, our emotions, ideas and beliefs about the world, and how we fit into the universe around us. Here, we're constantly pushing and pulling things into our lives, interacting with life around us and absorbing what we allow ourselves to touch and feel. 

Understand what’s feeding your spirit and what's depleting it.

It’s crucial to discover what makes your soul sing. Find your rhythm with the Universe. Follow the colors and dive into the sea of the creative unknown. You'll find that you will begin to feed your spirit, rather than your fear. Build your own rainbow one day at a time, one moment at a time. This is not an act but a way of life. 

In living our daily lives, energetic toxins can accumulate if we don't detoxify. Energies are live forces that paint the pictures of our aura. We want to welcome the colors that add to our vibrancy and vitality, and cleanse the negative energy that may whirl around us, clouding the air around our rainbow. Clean your paintbrush, and clean off your pallet. Let's not paint the masterpiece of life with a dirty paintbrush. 

In our lives there may emerge situations where we feel we cannot cleanse the paintbrush completely, especially under time constraints. When that happens, reflect back on those Kindergarten painting lessons. Take a step back, examine your painting, and neutralize your colors. Or better yet, create a new color and make magic!

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily."

Well spiritual hygiene is no different. Cleanse daily and live by the moment. If you can't avoid negative energy, shift to a higher vibration and neutralize it. Ground and center yourself in moments of chaos. Wrap your arms around a tree, and let it ground you. Visualize yourself rooting into the ground like a tree, and extend those branches into the sky. It’s important to remember that this may take time. Be patient and always believe in your soul.

Everything is an out picturing of your inner world. 

As mentioned, you may choose to amplify energies or counterbalance them. The point is—raise your vibration and vitality, and do your part in raising the frequency of the atmosphere around you. Like frequencies of a radio, whatever rate you vibrate at allows you to tap into anything at that frequency. So vibrate high and low, above and below. Shake it off. Shimmy into it. Vibrate voraciously! 

So what is your story? What colors do you emit, and at what frequency do you release your energy? What’s at your core? If it’s life, then exhale it. If it’s love, then exhale it. If it’s magic, then EXHALE MAGIC.     

Thought as your most powerful tool

Thought is the single most powerful form of energy in existence. It is the impetus of creation and destruction. And movement and space are but ascensions of ourselves highlighting progression and forecasting direction.

Thought is the single most miraculous tool man can have. The truth is that reality is an illusion.  One’s reality is merely a collection of your awareness projected from your inner state of being. So invest in your thoughts, and invest in your inner happiness. Use thought as a currency and you will buy things you never thought you could have.

 “When the complete density of a particular dimension is filled there is no other option than to evolve into a higher dimension. Each dimension offers unimaginable attributes that when perceived from a lower dimensional perspective does not seem possible. The only way these attributes of a higher dimensional existence could be consciously understood and accepted, is to experience them. The approach to this unknown existence is received with fear and chaos when there is no trust in your Soul.”

Claim your rainbow, your own energetic space. Activate the magnetism. Exhale magic. Carry magic dust with you and leave of trail of magic wherever you go. Believe in your magic.

I remember reading a blog post many years ago and taking these notes down.  Haven't been able to find that post again, but to whoever wrote that post, you've done so much for my life. This post is to transfer your wisdom and inspiration. Thank you.